


License

by 6erikar9



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 21:35:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17149487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6erikar9/pseuds/6erikar9
Summary: lit





	License

For once, things are going okay between us. We fucked for the first time in a while yesterday. He came out of our room dressed in skimpy lingerie and those stupid fucking glasses of his. You bet your ass I fucked them right off his pretty face when I bent him over the kitchen counter and took him from behind. He came three times, each harder than the last until he could barely stand. I wish I came inside of him, but I didn't. I didn't apply for a license to. We don't have the money to buy one.

See, I could get him pregnant illegally, but the government would cut us off from the world. They'd cut our insurance, healthcare, everything. Society caters to the rich. The rich people don't need to worry about money, they have enough for a license, and even if they don't wanna pay- they have enough to pay for everything without aid.

Eridan wants a child, as do I, but the world is against the strides we want to make. For now I can only comfort him with kisses and words, even though that's barely enough. I often find myself looking at his body. I look at everything that makes him who he is. His imperfections stick out the most when I'm wide awake. When I'm tired, I could care less. It's probably because we've been through a lot. Sometimes I'm convinced I hate him till I hear his voice. I could never hate him.

Perhaps the license would be enough to keep him happy, but a kid is something I'm not ready for. What if they get sick? Hurt? Killed? What kind of father will I be then? Spending thousands of dollars just to have a kid who will die regardless? Maybe it's best if we don't have a child.

"Please, Kar. Please."

His voice makes me melt. I'll do anything for him. I'm devoid of every thought that isn't his voice, if only for a moment. I kiss him, touch him, fuck him, anything he wants. But I can't make money appear from thin air.

Drugs, I thought. Drugs would make good money. I'll sell drugs, I thought. Drugs would make him happy.

But I got caught.

Appeared in court, but I was proven innocent, somehow. Lying is the best policy here.

Lying, I thought. Lying to buy a license.

It's funny how we are treated like animals. To prevent overpopulation, you have to buy the right to a family. You have to buy the right to unbiased justice. You have to buy the right to do anything. Of course, anything is the answer. I'd do anything for Eridan.

Grab him, pin him down, whisper dirty shit till he was squirming just for me. Make him admit he's mine. Fuck him, roughly. Make him scream my name just for the neighbors. Make him cum so hard he shakes. Rinse and repeat. This time, I got distracted- and it's the first of many things I begin to regret.

I got him pregnant. He's supporting a life that I didn't pay for. We discussed every solution. Should I push him down the stairs? Punch him? Purchase a pill and hope it was actually to abort a child? Get close with a doctor who could fix this?

He was too fragile. He admired the way his stomach curved outwards to compensate for the growing life inside of him. He was too broken to let this child go to waste. He cried, constantly, when I brought this up. He'd put his hand on his stomach, then reach out for my hand. He told me the baby liked hearing my voice. He told me the baby was a boy. He was confident, for some reason.

Confidence is fake.

I convinced myself that it was just a collection of cells. Like an embryo within a chicken egg. A simple crack in the shell could kill it. This child could not survive. I could not afford a license.

I held my husband close. I kissed his cheek. I smiled. I told him the baby would feel no pain. I told him it would be quick. I told him we couldn't do this. I told him we would still have time after this.

He sobbed. He sobbed and I melted.

"You'll get us killed, Eridan."

"You can't take his life until you take mine."

"That fetus isn't human till it's born."

"He's my son and you can't take him from me."

I reasoned with him, but he didn't care. He said he hated me under his breath when he slept. He hates me because I want to save him. I want to save us.

He can't hate me, I want to help. I want to make him see I love him. I want him to realize I don't want to hurt him. I want him to find comfort in my presence. I want him to love me. I want him to kiss me again. I want him to hug me. I want him to think I'm worth it.

I want him to love me. I want him to fucking love me.

I want him to leave. I want him to take the kid. I want him to never talk to me again. I want him to hate me. I want to hurt him. I don't want him near me- please stop trying to fucking touch me. I want it to stop. I want everything to stop, I want him to leave I want him to stay i want him to need me i want him to find comfort in me i want him to value me i want him to praise me i want him to believe me i want

i want

I want him back.

He never left. But our relationship died. No sex. No love. Nothing. He looks at me with those beautiful eyes of his, and threatens to hurt me. He threatens to hurt me like I hurt him. He threatens to remind me of who I am. He watched the child get weak. He watched the child fail to function. It was severely deformed. Its skin had a rash along every inch of its body. When Eridan picked it up, it sobbed. It sobbed so much that its vocal chords degraded into the same condition its skin was in. Eridan blamed me. My sperm, my fault.

I reasoned with him. Told him we could do home remedies, told him we could fix what was wrong with it. He told me it was my fault.

Take it to the doctor. The doctor is required to euthanize all unregistered children.

My fault.

I didn't bring it home. It had been killed with one quick injection. It didn't form properly. That's what happens when a life hasn't been paid for.

my

I can't wait to show everyone how broken this is. I can't wait to get home and tell Eridan about how fast the process to put it down was.

fault.

But fuck him. Fuck this. Fuck everyone. The kid deserved death, now it's his turn. I took my ax, the one that was weighted at the handle for more power. I sharpened it when he was sleeping. He always belittled me. He made me feel useless at times. He made me like this.

1st swing.

A scream, then blood.

Recoil, swing again.

Brain matter, seizure.

Recoil, just for fun.

Blood. Blood. Blood.

And one more, for good measure.

Regret. Pain. Tears. Love.

I sobbed as I looked at his mutilated body. It wasn't me sobbing. It was my conscience. I'd be arrested. I'll get in trouble for picking fights in prison. I'll be accused of so many things. At least I don't have to worry about him dying at the hands of the government.

 

Male, age 27. Found him beside his spouse on their bed. Looks like he used an ax to mutilate his husband, then used a gun on himself.

Shotgun.

He's holding his husband's remains. He kept the torso and genitals in perfect condition.

Confidence is fake till you're dead.


End file.
